Terms and Conditions

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Effective Date: whenever we last remembered to update this

Welcome to Climbers Against Gravity — the party game for naughty climbers & those who want to be.

Only buy this game if you have questionable judgment, don't get offended easily and possess extremely poor decision-making ... even when there's no pressure. 

By purchasing, opening, touching, or even just looking at your deck, you agree to the following nonsense.

By continuing to play this game instead of actually climbing something, you’re hereby:

• Waiving all rights to complain,
   
• Agreeing that gravity always wins,
  
• Acknowledging that you've made rude and inappropriate comments whilst climbing previously

• Stating that you enjoy playing with your deck (or someone else's). Possibly multiple decks all at once ... who knows?
   
• And admitting that you have at least once shouted “take!” unnecessarily.
   

We are not responsible for:

• Loss of friendships due to savage card combos
   
• Sprained or otherwise damaged egos
   
• Misuse of chalk in competitive environments
   
• Someone throwing the deck into a fire after three insults in a row
   

We especially deny any responsibility for climbing gym staff asking you to “please stop yelling” whilst playing this game.

This game contains:

• Crass humour and sexual innuendo
   
• Mild-intermediate profanity
   
• At least three cards referencing “moist”
   
• Several dangerously spicy puns
   

If you're easily offended, WTF are you doing on this site! Go to Disney instead.

We ship your game using humans and technology. If your parcel arrives late, crushed, or suspiciously covered with white liquid:

• Email us with evidence
   
• We will either replace it, refund it, or ignore you, depending on our mood and Wi-Fi connection
   

All sales are final. If you regret your purchase, channel that energy into climbing harder.

Refunds are only issued for:

• Decks eaten by goats
   
• Products damaged in transit
   
• Or if the cards arrive written entirely in Comic Sans or Papyrus font (obviously unacceptable)
   

Claims must be made within 14 days; otherwise, it's too bad, so sad.

Yes, we wrote these cards. No, you can’t copy them.

Unless you improve them — in which case, email us so we can steal your best ideas.

By playing Climbers Against Gravity, you agree to:

• Laugh at yourself & all those around you
   
• Not judge your partner for all the disturbingly accurate cards they played
   
• Not take the game (or life) too seriously
   

Violators will be punished by having to haul the heaviest climber using a 3:1 system for 2 hours.

We don't really want to talk to you but if you need some support, want to let us know how much you love the game, want chalk donations, or just need some unsolicited beta:

📬 Email us at info@climbersagainstgravity.com

If you just want to bitch & moan about something, talk to your therapist.

We typically respond within 2–3 rest days.

Legal note: These terms are written with zero legal authority and should not be shown to any real lawyers unless they have a sense of humor ... and also climb (so basically no lawyers!).